saw something weird in my mail, apparently i was scouted by someone, but then realized they lost their scouting privilege so i can’t go to the art portal. either way, i was surprised that even happened to me

i want to talk with the few friends i have left, but they have discord servers with hundreds of friends so idk if i matter much in the grand scheme of things or whatever the phrase is

wish i could gift people like julian and susie something. i know it’s not about the presents, and honestly i didn’t really ask for much, but it’s a nice thought.

idk if it’s anhedonia or something related but games, and activities in general for me aren’t really fun anymore. i have a hard time trying to keep playing cuz im unable to get interested and it just feels like a meaningless chore. essentially, i’ve been mostly doing nothing alone for months. it’s why i don’t play vrchat often; plus I barely have any room for it. im sorry

i keep forgetting people actually read my news posts. sorry for the disturbing posts and vents i’ve been making

just noticed julian’s new steam pfp. new character or redesign?

i don’t open my notifications often, i’ve been demotivated. i’ll try to catch up

i got temporary banned from bbs/nm

im thinking about leaving some platforms. everyone’s lives are going well, i don’t want to interfere as I keep deteriorating. plus im contemplating about my planning for 2023

vrchat? why don’t i go on there often?